Fuck off Santa, It's October 31st.

October 31st. The day where Britain sighs all together in a union against dressing up like a twat and begging for candy from strangers. Don't worry kids, it's okay to advertise yourselves to strangers today, this candy is fine and the people are nothing but friendly and innocent.

I decided to host a party, as opposed to enduring the above and have a high possibility of getting egged. Now I'm always up for a bit of fancy dress, this way I can dress like some fictional character without the inevitable eye rolls and police complaints. I invited more than the usual crowd as c'mon, Halloween is definitely the holiday to all be together, not Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Checklist: fancy dress - mandatory. Alcohol - essential. Two vital ingredients for a Halloween party. I myself, being the comic/superhero/sci-fi enthusiast strove towards something with... well, a comic/superhero/sci-fi quality. And would you guess it? A Jedi Knight. I would of selected the title Jedi Grand Master but seemingly not many people are familiar with this title, so it's back to third best Jedi. I had my Jedi robe, big Jedi belt and the essential Jedi weapon... the almighty lightsaber. They were all out of the yellow lightsaber crystals so blue it was! The costume was ready and the house ready awaiting its guests to ruin it. Here. We. Go.

There was a prize for best costume, which in hindsight promotes underage drinking and a life signed on, but what the hell, a bottle of vodka is well worth dressing up. The contest was wiped up by our very own Rob Johanson (Swedish and Irish decent - a very white citizen) dressing up as the one and only Samuel L. Jackson. The passion was there along with the cheap afro wig and a lot of black face paint. Solid effort. He drank that vodka with pride... although some nameless people were unhappy with the result. It just goes to show that some cheap wig and face paint can take you far in a low-budget Halloween house party contest.

The night went swimmingly and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. I'd give it an 8/10. Not bad for the last party I'm allowed, which would definitely show you I know how to host a banging party.

Fanatical about film?

These movies are marvellous in my view. They are cutting edge, funny, dramatic and just overall really great films. I'm frenzied about motion pictures and to refrain from making an overstatement I watch at least one a day without fail. Three on a really good day. Anyway, the following movies are my favourite and I wish to bestow my list upon you.

#10: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

#9: Back To The Future

#8: American Beauty

#7: True Romance

#6: Human Traffic

#5: Goodfellas

#4: Se7en

#3: Reservoir Dogs

#2: Donnie Darko

The list of movies prior to this are outstanding and I would undoubtedly recommend any number of them. But now for the grand slam of my ideal movies. The Holy Grail of major motion pictures. The number one.

#1: Fight Club

This twisty dramatic thriller keeps you on your toes and is layered more than an onion. Pitt and Norton make quite the duo, or quite the individual if you know what I'm getting at. Not to mention a groundbreaking performance by Helena Bonham Carter. Once you've seen this film you realise that psychedelic themed movies can in fact be rather spectacular and joyful. Trust me, this film reigns supreme and is definitely worth watching.

And The Award Goes To...

The Silver Spoon Committee of Footballing Excellence - this prestigious party govern when to reward a player for their excellent effort and of course their excellent footballing ability. This award is given to the best of the best every week and is what all players require for that little bit of respect which will grant them access to the holy committee. The Silver Spoon award is alike other awards; the world cup trophy, an Olympic gold medal and a Victoria cross. This award dignifies any person to win it and should be recognised as the pinnacle of playing like a pro.

Today, I was lucky enough to be selected as the best player of the day and to be awarded with the Spoon. Scoring five goals and to be smashed to the ground by the mighty Titan is surely worthy of the Silver Spoon in any one's books. From hereon I can say that I won the Spoon and that I was the best on that day. Next week it is my duty to select another to become a committee member and to hold their hands up high with the grand Spoon. I wish the greatest luck to the future candidates and I'm sure the best man will without shadow of a doubt win.

Grant me some Hugh

Hugh Grant is notably the summing up for an English man. It's startling how much of an unconventional lead can in fact become so. Hugh, being charming and charismatic enforces the viewer to dismiss their regard for a chiseled and buff brute of a man and to just relax and accept that perhaps he may not fluster you, but he will surely allow for you to laugh and fall in love with him - platonically speaking.

Mr. Grant himself may not be referable as a 'looker' but that does not refrain him from looking per se. Some of Hollywood's most beautiful leading actresses such as Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore have also been struck by the tea drinking charmer. Hugh Grant can dazzle a screen and instantaneously make a seemingly awful picture rather spectacular solely by his graceful presence and unofficial catchphrase, 'bugger'.
Needless to say, Hugh is presumably the apex of a traditional English actor who also is just a bloke who can indisputably whoo a girl or two. Well done Hugh and keep up the good work.

Can I have that in American please?

America often disregard the quality and impact of a great television show and stride towards the quantity in an attempt to be the biggest name on tv and win the ratings. It would appear that our British humour does in fact interest the yanks on the other side of the pond. But must the Americans twist and remodel our home born programmes and make them bigger and better which America so often assure. First the English visionary David Brent was transformed into the American office manager Michael Scott which lost all of the character's English charm and wit. The cult classic Fawlty Towers created by the British Monty Python member John Cleese was remade a staggering three times by America until all attempts failed and diminished into yet another Brit hit, Yank wank.

Other American remakes inspired by true British talent include; The Vicar of Dibley - which again was cancelled due to the lack of comedy understanding by the 'I can't be bothered to think, I just want to be entertained' Americans. Men Behaving Badly, One Foot in the Grave and Life on Mars are to name a few examples of British treasure that widdle away under the strain of the stars and stripes. Therefore, perhaps British television should remain British and refrain from becoming an American washout, as Great Britain does it a tremendous amount better.

The Met wants it wet

The Met Office have stated that the forthcoming weather will be hot. Very hot. Britons must take action by hydrating continuously, remain in the shade and to wear plenty of sun tan lotion. Thanks for the red alert heat wave warning I could of guessed using the magic of common sense. I mean really, if they're going to come out information like that is there really a need for them overall?

Britain is renowned for having tremendously terrible weather, unless you like clouds and grey then the United Kingdom is your kind of place. Britain does have the tendency to complain whatever the weather. When it snowed - panic and devastation! Rain - misery and some more misery. And then we get struck by sunshine and a beautiful climate and then for the foreseeable future we are deafened by three words; "It's too hot!" Now I'm not saying that I'm different and everyone else are just whiny complainers - I too find it extremely hot and wouldn't mind a nice cool shower.

Maybe God just made Britons innately unhappy and decided to make the weather crap as well. Maybe the weather wont ever be consistently nice, but at least we can rely on the consistent British grumbling.

Robots in disguise

Who would of thought that the Autobots would be fighting alongside humanity in the never ending battle of good vs. evil. The original gang, minus hip-hop rap legend Jazz, and some new metallic faces work alongside the humans in a search around the world to pick off any remaining belligerent Decepticons.

One of the great aspects of this film, rather than the first movie, is the Cybertron's are very central to the main cast, including a remote control car Italian deception that may as well be Joe Pesci, and two twin autobots that mirror good ol' Jazz's personality that generate some true comic gold. The graphics and effects within the film are simply immense and you almost dismiss your grasp on reality and consider that possibly there were actual robots walking around. Through this, the robots themselves make the movie and especially the fight sequences that probably add up to about an hour - don't worry though, they're adrenaline fuelled and packed with plasma guns and Optimus' mega swords. Good Lord, we've ignored Foxy Fox. Not much really needs to be said, apart from "Hello there!"

My verdict? It's Transformers 2 so don't expect an original classic movie. However do expect a thrill ride and to be thoroughly entertained. The plot is pretty hazy and you'll most likely lose yourself during some points, but hey, the story doesn't have to be perfect with wise cracking robots running around and Megan Fox in a tanktop and leather trousers. You will laugh and you will think "This. Is. Sick!" And if you're not a fan of gadgets and cars turning into metal people, I'm sure you're a fan Megan Fox which is a good enough reason to see the film.

The Walk of Shame

Last night, like any other Friday, we ventured to the VK Bar where the drinking age is a little over sixteen. People were socialising and the drinks were flowing. Also, the convenient thing about the bar is that is located directly next to an off-license where the cost of a beer is £1, opposed to the £4 beers that annoyingly do not taste any greater. So I met some new people last night and everyone was seemingly having a good time, until the inevitable happened... someone decided to get mouthy.
This party, alike all other party's that have occurred have had the loudmouthed drunk girl who thinks that everyone else at the party is against her and that the polite smile was in fact a dirty look that constitutes as a threat. So this girl was causing an uproar and thought it necessary to let the whole club know that she had a problem, and so thereby making her problem everybody's problem. The argument progressed from verbal abuse to threats which progressed into an actual fight with some other poor girl who was in fact trying to reconcile the whole incident. Needless to say, this sparked interest within the entire club who all came out to spectate this girl getting kicked with high heels and having her hair ruthlessly pulled.
After this piece of entertainment the drinks flowed some more and everyone's adrenaline seemed to be at a high. The atmosphere stayed alive during the bus ride home with classic songs being sung by the entire top deck. Nothing like a bit of James Blunt, Justin Timberlake and Ronan Keating to end the night. When we arrived at our destination we instantly ran to the chicken shop before it closed to get some end of the night food that once eaten makes you wish that you really hadn't. Although it became worth it when I managed to blag a free piece of chicken. After the delectable meal I decided to stay over my friend's house instead of walking home that night.
6:42 a.m. Awake. Seriously dehydrated. The only thing in sight to drink is the flat Fanta orange from last night's chicken meal deal. 8:14 a.m. Still awake browsing the apps on a iPod Touch eagerly awaiting for my ride home at noon. 9:36 a.m. Had enough of watching Michael Jackson: Through the Years, so I make a prompt decision to get dressed and head home and endure the inevitable walk of shame.

My succumbing to Twilight

My friend has been reading the Twilight franchise which is where I first discovered the world of Edward Cullen and the whole vampire loves human, hates werewolf concept. Initially the whole notion of this seemed ridiculous and ultimately an irritating love story that would result in a dark yet typical happy ending. Isabella "just call me Bella" Swan goes to live with her dad whilst her mum is off gallivanting with her new hubby. This is where she meets the telepathic vampire Edward who at first would like to kill and feed on her. Aside from this a true romance underpins the homicidal groove.
Now being a superhero/superpower enthusiast, I thought the vampire's possessing abilities was quite the neat surprise. Telepathy, precognition, super speed and strength - quite the party trick. Throughout the film the relationship between Ed and Bel blossoms from a scary potential rape attack to a loving "I can't live without you", which does appear to be genuinely sincere.
The effects used in the film, with a low budget-esque, are actually quite swell. From the running really fast, to climbing up trees to the golden diamond skin. It should be worth mentioning that these vampires aren't affected by the yellow star in the conventional sense. Rather than killing them and burning their pale skin, it turns their skin into "the skin of a killer" which looks extremely expensive in my view.
The music used throughout is trendy and makes you think "that song was actually quite good". And even leading man Robert Pattinson contributes his own music to the Twilight saga, with a slow and possibly soothing song that plays over a very dramatic and "oh my god!" scene, which in hindsight is perhaps on of the best scenes in the film.
All in all, the super-powered vampire clan fighting against the evil vampires to protect the human Bella grows on you when you really wish it hadn't, but then soon after you accept that this concept could potentially be quite cool and that Twilight was now a part of your life.

A short story about a girl called Caroline.

Caroline was not interested in make up and going shopping with the girls and getting excited about the brand new make of mascara. Caroline was interested in paper. The whiteness that represented the hope and purity possible within the world. The perfect rectangular shape symbolising the perfection also possible. So many uses were possible with paper, and so many people used it. To her paper was a sure winner.
Ever since Caroline was a little girl she used paper everyday. To colour on, make paper airplanes, to make those weird puzzle things with where you had to choose a colour and then choose a number. This fascinated her, the endless possibilities of it all. This is why Caroline wanted a career in the paper industry. She wasn't quite sure what direction paper could really take her in, neither was anyone. But she was positive that paper was her life's calling.
Caroline knew all there is to know about paper. The possible sizes which varied from A4 to A1, the possible colours that could be used and also the thickness. She knew everything except one detail. Caroline had no clue as to where paper came from. This frustrated her immensely as no one would seem to tell her.
Caroline went for a wander through the woods, which was her favourite place to roam around when she wanted to clear her head. She heard a veracious roar that seemed to threaten the woods and Caroline herself. She made her way through the beautiful oak trees to find a dozen men and a gigantic monster of a machine. She lunged at the workers to stop what they were doing and questioned them as to why they would kill these beautiful trees. One of the workers simply looked directly at her and said three words that would crush Caroline for the rest of her life; "We're making paper." Caroline suddenly couldn't breathe. She ran through the woods screaming, panting, struggling to catch her breath. She found her favourite tree and climbed to the very top. She decided that they wouldn't take this tree from her. This was Caroline's tree. So she tied the knot and jumped. Caroline dangled, in protest. She gave up the one thing she loved in the world to save the beautiful woodland. Unfortunately, Caroline's favourite tree was also the tallest in the forest. So the workers were unable to see her at the top. So they persisted to cut down the tree. Once the tree was down they found Caroline, rigid and cold. Holding a piece of paper.