Fuck off Santa, It's October 31st.

October 31st. The day where Britain sighs all together in a union against dressing up like a twat and begging for candy from strangers. Don't worry kids, it's okay to advertise yourselves to strangers today, this candy is fine and the people are nothing but friendly and innocent.

I decided to host a party, as opposed to enduring the above and have a high possibility of getting egged. Now I'm always up for a bit of fancy dress, this way I can dress like some fictional character without the inevitable eye rolls and police complaints. I invited more than the usual crowd as c'mon, Halloween is definitely the holiday to all be together, not Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Checklist: fancy dress - mandatory. Alcohol - essential. Two vital ingredients for a Halloween party. I myself, being the comic/superhero/sci-fi enthusiast strove towards something with... well, a comic/superhero/sci-fi quality. And would you guess it? A Jedi Knight. I would of selected the title Jedi Grand Master but seemingly not many people are familiar with this title, so it's back to third best Jedi. I had my Jedi robe, big Jedi belt and the essential Jedi weapon... the almighty lightsaber. They were all out of the yellow lightsaber crystals so blue it was! The costume was ready and the house ready awaiting its guests to ruin it. Here. We. Go.

There was a prize for best costume, which in hindsight promotes underage drinking and a life signed on, but what the hell, a bottle of vodka is well worth dressing up. The contest was wiped up by our very own Rob Johanson (Swedish and Irish decent - a very white citizen) dressing up as the one and only Samuel L. Jackson. The passion was there along with the cheap afro wig and a lot of black face paint. Solid effort. He drank that vodka with pride... although some nameless people were unhappy with the result. It just goes to show that some cheap wig and face paint can take you far in a low-budget Halloween house party contest.

The night went swimmingly and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves. I'd give it an 8/10. Not bad for the last party I'm allowed, which would definitely show you I know how to host a banging party.

Fanatical about film?

These movies are marvellous in my view. They are cutting edge, funny, dramatic and just overall really great films. I'm frenzied about motion pictures and to refrain from making an overstatement I watch at least one a day without fail. Three on a really good day. Anyway, the following movies are my favourite and I wish to bestow my list upon you.

#10: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

#9: Back To The Future

#8: American Beauty

#7: True Romance

#6: Human Traffic

#5: Goodfellas

#4: Se7en

#3: Reservoir Dogs

#2: Donnie Darko

The list of movies prior to this are outstanding and I would undoubtedly recommend any number of them. But now for the grand slam of my ideal movies. The Holy Grail of major motion pictures. The number one.

#1: Fight Club

This twisty dramatic thriller keeps you on your toes and is layered more than an onion. Pitt and Norton make quite the duo, or quite the individual if you know what I'm getting at. Not to mention a groundbreaking performance by Helena Bonham Carter. Once you've seen this film you realise that psychedelic themed movies can in fact be rather spectacular and joyful. Trust me, this film reigns supreme and is definitely worth watching.

And The Award Goes To...

The Silver Spoon Committee of Footballing Excellence - this prestigious party govern when to reward a player for their excellent effort and of course their excellent footballing ability. This award is given to the best of the best every week and is what all players require for that little bit of respect which will grant them access to the holy committee. The Silver Spoon award is alike other awards; the world cup trophy, an Olympic gold medal and a Victoria cross. This award dignifies any person to win it and should be recognised as the pinnacle of playing like a pro.

Today, I was lucky enough to be selected as the best player of the day and to be awarded with the Spoon. Scoring five goals and to be smashed to the ground by the mighty Titan is surely worthy of the Silver Spoon in any one's books. From hereon I can say that I won the Spoon and that I was the best on that day. Next week it is my duty to select another to become a committee member and to hold their hands up high with the grand Spoon. I wish the greatest luck to the future candidates and I'm sure the best man will without shadow of a doubt win.

Grant me some Hugh

Hugh Grant is notably the summing up for an English man. It's startling how much of an unconventional lead can in fact become so. Hugh, being charming and charismatic enforces the viewer to dismiss their regard for a chiseled and buff brute of a man and to just relax and accept that perhaps he may not fluster you, but he will surely allow for you to laugh and fall in love with him - platonically speaking.

Mr. Grant himself may not be referable as a 'looker' but that does not refrain him from looking per se. Some of Hollywood's most beautiful leading actresses such as Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore have also been struck by the tea drinking charmer. Hugh Grant can dazzle a screen and instantaneously make a seemingly awful picture rather spectacular solely by his graceful presence and unofficial catchphrase, 'bugger'.
Needless to say, Hugh is presumably the apex of a traditional English actor who also is just a bloke who can indisputably whoo a girl or two. Well done Hugh and keep up the good work.

Can I have that in American please?

America often disregard the quality and impact of a great television show and stride towards the quantity in an attempt to be the biggest name on tv and win the ratings. It would appear that our British humour does in fact interest the yanks on the other side of the pond. But must the Americans twist and remodel our home born programmes and make them bigger and better which America so often assure. First the English visionary David Brent was transformed into the American office manager Michael Scott which lost all of the character's English charm and wit. The cult classic Fawlty Towers created by the British Monty Python member John Cleese was remade a staggering three times by America until all attempts failed and diminished into yet another Brit hit, Yank wank.

Other American remakes inspired by true British talent include; The Vicar of Dibley - which again was cancelled due to the lack of comedy understanding by the 'I can't be bothered to think, I just want to be entertained' Americans. Men Behaving Badly, One Foot in the Grave and Life on Mars are to name a few examples of British treasure that widdle away under the strain of the stars and stripes. Therefore, perhaps British television should remain British and refrain from becoming an American washout, as Great Britain does it a tremendous amount better.

The Met wants it wet

The Met Office have stated that the forthcoming weather will be hot. Very hot. Britons must take action by hydrating continuously, remain in the shade and to wear plenty of sun tan lotion. Thanks for the red alert heat wave warning I could of guessed using the magic of common sense. I mean really, if they're going to come out information like that is there really a need for them overall?

Britain is renowned for having tremendously terrible weather, unless you like clouds and grey then the United Kingdom is your kind of place. Britain does have the tendency to complain whatever the weather. When it snowed - panic and devastation! Rain - misery and some more misery. And then we get struck by sunshine and a beautiful climate and then for the foreseeable future we are deafened by three words; "It's too hot!" Now I'm not saying that I'm different and everyone else are just whiny complainers - I too find it extremely hot and wouldn't mind a nice cool shower.

Maybe God just made Britons innately unhappy and decided to make the weather crap as well. Maybe the weather wont ever be consistently nice, but at least we can rely on the consistent British grumbling.

Robots in disguise

Who would of thought that the Autobots would be fighting alongside humanity in the never ending battle of good vs. evil. The original gang, minus hip-hop rap legend Jazz, and some new metallic faces work alongside the humans in a search around the world to pick off any remaining belligerent Decepticons.

One of the great aspects of this film, rather than the first movie, is the Cybertron's are very central to the main cast, including a remote control car Italian deception that may as well be Joe Pesci, and two twin autobots that mirror good ol' Jazz's personality that generate some true comic gold. The graphics and effects within the film are simply immense and you almost dismiss your grasp on reality and consider that possibly there were actual robots walking around. Through this, the robots themselves make the movie and especially the fight sequences that probably add up to about an hour - don't worry though, they're adrenaline fuelled and packed with plasma guns and Optimus' mega swords. Good Lord, we've ignored Foxy Fox. Not much really needs to be said, apart from "Hello there!"

My verdict? It's Transformers 2 so don't expect an original classic movie. However do expect a thrill ride and to be thoroughly entertained. The plot is pretty hazy and you'll most likely lose yourself during some points, but hey, the story doesn't have to be perfect with wise cracking robots running around and Megan Fox in a tanktop and leather trousers. You will laugh and you will think "This. Is. Sick!" And if you're not a fan of gadgets and cars turning into metal people, I'm sure you're a fan Megan Fox which is a good enough reason to see the film.